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04.30.03 say hello to the newest member of our little family. barrett comes in from the cold and shakes off the rain, shedding his previous (twotoned.com) to play with us here. and we're happy to see that he's really gotten back into the action. # 04.29.03 today's a sick day but its better than most, because i'm sitting in my pajamas on the couch and i'm shopping for music. not that i'm going to buy anything. cd-buying-guilt remains as strong as ever. # 04.28.03 i woke up this morning confused, unable to remember if what day today was to be. it's a shame i bothered to check, too, because i was ready to call my alarm clock a fluke, say it was sunday all over again and go back to bed for a few hours. # 04.27.03 trying to find some pre-release blur, i'm now stuck with a grand total of 15 minutes of 128mHz silence. i hate what they've done with kazaa. so i'm a little excited about the possible announcement tomorrow. we'll see, of course. update: cool, cool, cool. # beautiful. # 04.26.03 how did i miss this? # 04.25.03 the register (oddly) reports that the chronicle has fired beleaguered tech columnist henry norr. # 04.24.03 there's a woman that drives around our neighborhood in a pickup truck, this time of night, 2 in the morning, stealing the recycling that has been set out for tomorrow. # 04.23.03 they're taking away my mac today and giving me a pc. boo hoo, sob sob. goodbye gooey GUI, hello bubbly XP... update: # 04.21.03 the new york times on tivo houses: "you've had this thing TiVoed for six months and you haven't watched it yet!" yes. just ask my boyfriend and i about the piano. # 04.20.03 interesting article at salon about nigella lawson, the fabu cooking show hostess brian inadvertently turned me on to. now if only i could get my boyfriend to stop making fun of me for watching it (because even nigella can't inspire me to cook — well). # 04.18.03 menacing fortune cookie of the day: your luck has been completely changed today. # for david: the who's afraid of virginia woolf? drinking game. woot! who's got the brandy?! via jonno # ameer brings his genius to the grocery store. it's not like when you go to the grocery store. it's better. # you can hear the real, studio release version of radiohead's first single from hail (there there) in the kcrw archives. it's literally the first thing played on the april 15 broadcast of the broadband show. differences from the leak seem to be mostly mixing, and although it is a noticeably better version, there is nothing surprising here. for some real variation though, check out this cover of the same song by christopher o'riley, on piano. intriguing (and difficult!)! more news: supposedy, the new album cover. # 04.17.03 i'm really excited by the interest that the penis blog project is generating. it's fascinating to hear what people think and to see some of the discussions of exhibitionism that are cropping up. and i'm enjoying the emails i keep getting from people speculating on my true identity (all wrong of course, although in some cases i'm quite flattered by the implication). for me though, it's a totally fun thing, because i'm so specifically not an exhibitionist or even much of an extrovert. my participation is out of character. however, there is the is the larger issue at work here of my condition. when i was younger, even as a teenager, i underwent a number of rather awkward and sometimes painful surgeries to achieve a level of functional and cosmetic "normalcy" that i could really feel comfortable with. and it did the trick — i have not felt self-conscious or ashamed of my penis for many years now. still, there is always that lingering doubt, the kind of doubt that buries itself into one's character, the kind of doubt that becomes so routine and so familiar that you get to be comfortable within it. it's the nagging questions that wonder aloud if the people i have been with are just being kind, placating; being good people, because good people wont say things to humiliate you. but now, putting my dick out there with all the rest for you to see, i'm forcing myself to step outside of that fear of judgment. and that's validating. because, no matter how much you want to believe that you are normal, it will never be true until you start acting as if you really are normal. # 04.16.03 i'm not much a fan of adspeak — that tendency for folks in my line of work to just, well, make up words to suit their needs. repurposing the english language. drives me nuts (i.e. the next time someone asks if i have the "bandwidth" for a new project they're going to get a webster's where it doesn't belong). but i will admit a certain affinity for the phrase come to jesus. as in, "let's give the client a come to jesus talk on this." really sets the right tone for me. and just in time for good friday. # 04.15.03 it's here and it's me, but can you guess which one? i'll never tell. and i agree with jessie's choices for choice, um, meat. # 04.14.03 my arm has been sore all day, the right tricep tender and a little stiff. it's because of my visit to the doctor this morning, such a nice lady really, but always she's sticking me with these needles. luckily for me, it only hurts when i make strange, uncommon motions with my arm. like carrying chairs. which i found myself doing this afternoon, bringing an extra seat into the conference room at work for a late comer. we were having a party, a meeting of the six-figure folk from all around the office, but who am i kidding because everyone probably makes six figures except for me. i was already nervous, being wary as i am of working projects with too many cooks. as i'm carrying this extra chair in, trying not to grimace at the dull burn in my freshly immunized arm, the late comer compliments me on my terrible thoughtfulness. his praise is met with light laughter and a smattering of affirmation, followed by the CEO, who chimes in to say "yeah, and he's so thin too!" some days i worry that life really is this weird. i think i'm glad to have friday off. # i want to start going to the gym again. i'm really starting to feel it, the guilt and the flab, the guilt and the flab. but there's no budget for it these days, being strapped as i am* and they're such a terrible monthly expense. if i started a Gym Fund, would you all paypal me once a month? it's distributed billing. * it should be noted that i'm strapped not by the exorbitant cost of living in lovely san francisco, but rather by the exorbitant, jet-setting lifestyle i lead with my gay lover. and lovely san francisco's exorbitant cost of living. # i had 18 junk emails this morning. damnit. # a new public beta of safari is out. it's legal, it's fast and it brings tabs to the masses. if you don't got it, get it. # after an extended absence, tonight marked our return to the kitchen. we whipped up a rather fabulous salmon with mushroom risotto and grilled asparagus tonight. it was a nice change from our usual custom of eating out. of course, now our tiny kitchen smells like fish in the nastiest way, but jessie assures me this sort of thing goes away with time (he would know). and did you see the simpsons tonight? "you're really riding his ass, and not in the good way." hilarious! # 04.12.03 oh wow. kevin sites (see previous) was captured by iraqi forces. he was later released. # 04.11.03 cheese sandwich cheese sandwich cheese sandwich. there are so many interesting things to tell you about right now. yet all i can muster for you here is these simple banalities. i promise more interesting tales for the future, and less cheese sandwich. # i like leaving work late and knowing that it's still going to be daytime outside. even though the streets look more empty. # 04.10.03 i feel like my apartment is covered in unread words, books and magazines scattered to every corner. my desk is a mess. it's all so daunting. # you've probably already seen these, but those of you who haven't are really in for a real treat. a fluffy mackerel treat. # 04.09.03 walking to work this morning, i found myself directly behind a very cute boy. he was dressed cute, he had cute hair and a cute body - especially the part of it i was walking behind. but when i went in for the pass-and-glance, i discovered that he was, in fact, a victim of that most rare and gruesome of diseases: ray liotta face!! # 04.08.03 it's a beautiful afternoon in san francisco, warm sun kissing your face, the back of your neck; t-shirt weather. and i get to enjoy it, with our guest, thanks in no small part to the deus ex machina that got me out of work today at noon. lovely. # daylight savings update: i know it's supposed to make life easier, but i find the automatically synchronizing clocks to be terribly confusing; i was changing clocks that had already changed themselves, only making the problem worse. if the tivo, cable box, computer and cell phone can change themselves, why not the microwave, stove, alarm clock and wall clocks? and the nintendo - do i have to change that too? am i forgetting anyone? is the a clock on the toaster or the fridge? ahhhhh! # 04.06.03 i always forget how much i like daylight savings. i mean, look outside - six o'clock and it's still daytime. this is good for late sleepers like me. got a chance to see some pretty faces at this afternoon's event. then i bought some more cd's, big surprise. have i mentioned how uncanny the resemblance is? maybe i'm seeing things, but anyway, we get him until wednesday. are you jealous? i swear i'm going to start writing email again, any day now i promise. # 04.05.03 my boyfriend is watching tv, eating crackers with the cat. we're anxious to receive our guest. # someone gives really fun gifts. # elephant rocks. # 04.03.03 for some reason, white castle keeps coming up in conversations with my coworkers. i've never been, so i have no idea how i've become so obsessed. # apple has updated their rather keen remote management utility, creatively titled apple remote desktop. i know this because the IT guy at work used it to restart my computer without warning yesterday. maybe it was something i said? # i'm anxious for jonno's penis blog project to start up. i was trying to make a list last night of the bloggers who i hope to see. tee hee. # 04.01.03 ok, who here hasn't heard the leaked radiohead album yet? it's ok, speak up. (and if you don't know where to get it, # standing in line for lunch today, i watched a woman off to the side of the crowd, outside of the lunchtime melee, patiently waiting for some unknown. she was dressed for an office, which is to say smartly, professionally. but something about her face was wrong. she looked as if she might, at any moment, burst into tears. as i continued to stare at her, i saw that she wasn't on the brink of some emotional crisis at all. there was simply something about her face, about the shape of it, the structure of the bones, the way her eyes were set back in just a bit, the shape of her mouth; something about her simply looked this sad. it was as if her sadness, some long time ago, had grown so deep and so intense that it seared itself into her face; emotional burn-in. and i wonder what sadness could be like this, so intense and so prolonged, that it might leave such a lasting impression on the whole of a person? # « March 2003 | archive index | May 2003 » built with movabletype |
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